GI Joe

by gbsmith4

We can talk, right?  I  mean, I can reveal all my secrets and trust you’ll be discreet?

Okay, good, because I want to discuss what has become my main focus since I turned 50.  In fact, for most people my age, it’s their main focus too.  They’re just too shy to admit it.

However, I am here to break the silence and let you know one of my top concerns each day — if not THE top concern — is the health, functioning, and overall satisfaction of…my GI system

Now, I could be even less discreet, but I think you get my gist.  Yes, I am at the point most “old farts” reach and that’s where a good day begins (hopefully!) with a nice trip to the “library.”

And don’t think I take anything for granted.  No, I am Mr. Probiotic.  I have a Ph.D in the area of FIBER.  I do all that mumbo-jumbo like take plenty of water, exercise, and “listen” to my body.

Yet for all my planning and diligence, G*D forbid I am even slightly off my schedule!  My body shuts down, and puts me squarely in the penalty box.  And if there’s too many trips to the penalty box, I am then forced to take drastic measures.  (Talk of drastic measures, though, are best left to another column.)

Let’s say, though, that I never thought it would come to this.  Never thought I’d spend so much time and energy on something so simple.  But that’s life, I suppose, for the AARP set and I am here to embrace it.

Now excuse me while I see a man about a horse.  (sorry, you’ll have to look it up.)