Portable toilets and other thoughts

by gbsmith4

I attended my 975th regatta yesterday to watch my wife row.   And based on my vast experience at both these and bike races held in remote regions of the country (read: no indoor plumbing!), I think I can claim some expertise on….portable toilet names.

Now I’m pretty sure I rank in the top .1% of outdoor toilet users — being upstaged only by construction workers — and have come to the conclusion that portable toilet companies are simply the cleverest marketeers in the country.  Why? Because they take a fairly homogenous product and by name alone, manage to make it different.

Sure, there’s the ubiquitous Job Johnny, but that’s so yesterday.  And let’s move on from Port-o-let.  You might as well name it United Toilet!

Instead, I’m a fan of the new guys with the catchy names.  My favorites:

5.  Royal Flush.  With a 5 card poker hand splashed (pun intended) across the door, this is an obvious winner.

4.  Gotugo.   Don’t know how the “u” snuck in there, but still love it.

3. Bobbyspottys.  The use of “Bobby” is kind of creepy.  Which makes it perfect for this industry.

2.  Poophappens.  Need I say more?

1.  John Boy.   Elegant in its simplicity!


And speaking of regattas, what is it with parents and food?  You see, at most of the regattas I attend, there are also high school races.  And with high school races come high school tents stocked by well-meaning rowing parents.  (Indeed I was a well-meaning rowing parent myself for 10 consecutive years.)

And these parents are required to stock the tent with food.  And not just food, but enough food to see their kids through 7 years of drought and famine.  Believe me, if the dust bowl set in, these kids would be set.

Now I could see if the kids were out running a marathon.  Or doing a decathlon. Or, heck, even participating in one of those “Walk-for-the-Cure” things they have every other week.

Instead, they participate in ONE 20 minute race.  So, including the paddle out and back, maybe they burn off 250 calories.  Or one half of one muffin.  Which is about 1% of what they actually eat at a race.

No wonder our kids are obese.